Has your child ever said something so hateful, that you immediately freeze and recoil in horror?
For us, it was a little over a week ago. This sweet face you see here shouted at me:
“I want you to die!”
This evolved into “I want you to die and I’ll throw you out the car window so you break then put you in a hole where you’re dead”I was a plethora of emotions. Sadness. Anger. Confused. To hear such horrible language bubble from his mouth turned my stomach and ripped my heart from my chest.
Quite frankly I was horrified.
My “infraction” you ask? I wouldn’t take him past a “dancing dude” aka inflatable tube man that was no longer there.
My first instinct was to scold him. After all, how dare he talk to me like that?
Instead I simply said “that’s not very nice” and called my mother. He told her that he wanted me to die and she patiently told him how unkind it was. This STILL didn’t solve the issue.
He just told her “we’ll take momma to the doctor and he’ll just fill her up again” and went back to telling me that he wanted me to die. He repeated it all through dinner up until bedtime.I mostly kept silent, processing the best way to handle the situation. I’m glad I took that time to cool down and assess.What I came to realize was that this wasn’t about me, it was about him. It was about helping him understand what death truly was and teaching him to find his innate sense of goodness again.It’s hard to remember sometimes, but my goal with Everett isn’t to teach by punishment (though he does have consequences), but rather to try to remember to be MY BEST SELF. It’s these moments that our children need our kindness, loving, and understanding the most. To push aside my anger, hurt, and yes shame. Shame that MY CHILD is capable of spewing such atrocities.