{"id":3387,"date":"2023-02-18T23:34:31","date_gmt":"2023-02-18T23:34:31","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/notsosupermomvssociety.com\/?p=3387"},"modified":"2023-02-19T15:32:08","modified_gmt":"2023-02-19T15:32:08","slug":"youd-be-so-pretty-if","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/notsosupermomvssociety.com\/youd-be-so-pretty-if\/","title":{"rendered":"You’d Be So Pretty If…"},"content":{"rendered":"\r\n
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I’m overweight and I’m not unique-there are over 90 million Americans that are struggling with their weight as well. With millions of us in the same boat, you’d think this journey wouldn’t have felt so isolating, but it did. I felt like I wasn’t in the same boat, but rather, I was regulated to a dark and lonely hole-filled rowboat. A rowboat that needed to hide in the shadows so no one, not even myself, could see it as it slowly sunk to the bottom. I didn’t want to be seen, because being seen meant that I would have to acknowledge it, it being the elephant in the room, aka me.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

I tentatively pull on a shirt that’s 5 sizes smaller than what I was wearing just minutes ago and it fits. I stare at myself in disbelief. It fits. It actually fits. I glance down at what I had been jokingly calling my “bag lady” clothes flummoxed. In my mind, those “bag lady” clothes still fit, they were just a little roomy and my mind can’t process that the shirt I pulled on somehow fits too. It almost feels like some weird “Sisterhood Of The Traveling Pants” moment, with the exception that it’s my body and not a pair of jeans.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

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Then the tears and feelings of unworthiness start. You see, when I had this moment, it was a mere 8 days after I had a mini gastric bypass procedure in Mexico. I had been prepared for rapid weight loss & potential emotional moments post-surgery, but I somehow had discounted and ignored the 65 pounds I had lost prior<\/em> to going to Mexico. While I intrinsically knew my body was different, in my mind, I was still at my starting weight.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

People were telling me how proud they were and that I was doing such a great job, but in reality I just felt like a big fat fraud. The first 30lbs or so that I lost? It wasn’t because I was “trying” to lose weight, I was actually suffering with an almost 4 month long covid side-effect that caused my throat to swell. It was harder and sometimes painful to eat, so I stopped eating as much. I didn’t stop eating & drinking the things that contributed towards my weight gain, I essentially was starving myself.\u00a0 Eventually, my body got used to being starved, so when I finally started a specially tailored bariatric diet, my body didn’t mind. I lost those first 30ish pounds in such an unhealthy manner I felt I couldn’t take credit for them, and the transition to my new diet was so remarkably easy it didn’t feel like I was doing something worthy of praise either.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

So how did I become this “elephant” in the room and why am I sharing now? My story starts over 20 years ago and I’m sharing now because I hope that maybe my story might help someone else who is also going through what I went through. It also doesn’t hurt that when I write my feelings down it also helps me<\/em> process what I’m going through.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

You’d be So Pretty If…<\/h2>\r\n
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