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At the start of 2020, I had a friend who had gone through weight-loss surgery, (WLS), the previous year. I watched her transition carefully-she looked fabulous and felt amazing. Then, my parents offered me money towards a WLS procedure, and I decided that this was an option I needed to seriously consider. I was just about to commit to it when the Covid pandemic hit.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

The pandemic hit all of us a little differently, but 2 of the most common side effects from being isolated, weight-gain & depression, also hit our household. I kept my secret body shame close to me though. I would have friends offer to walk with me, join weight watchers, etc, but I would politely brush them off, knowing if I committed to that with them I would have to face that secret body shame box I had “hidden” so well.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

Facing My Secret Shame<\/h2>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

Finally, in 2022, I made the choice that I was finally going to take the plunge and get my WLS done. To say the people around me were shocked would be an understatement. One friend even made the comment, “When you said you were going to have WLS, I was shocked. You never<\/em> talk about your weight or have given any indication you were unhappy with it.”<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

That was kind of the point though. I didn’t want<\/em> to talk about and acknowledge the fact that by summer 2022 I had reached my highest weight- a resounding 386 pounds. I was shopping for clothes that were 5x and occasionally 6x. My options for “cute” clothes were starting to get extremely limited. What all of my critics about getting this procedure done didn’t know is that this wasn’t some snap decision. They made comments about how dangerous it was and about my level of commitment to such a drastic procedure. They told me I was basically going to kill myself because I wanted some “hot body.” That I needed to spend my money on things like “Weight Watchers” and “personal trainers.”<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

What my critics didn’t do is ask me WHY I was doing what I was doing. They didn’t ask about what I had done to prepare, what my plans were for aftercare, etc. They just made assumptions. Those assumptions hurt more deeply than I’m willing to admit. As I said before, this wasn’t a snap decision. I had been planning this for years and had been doing significant research on my options. They didn’t understand this was something that I was doing for my family and, most importantly, myself. I wanted to be able to go on hikes with my family, play soccer with my boys, go on bike rides, heck even walk up my driveway without sounding like I had climbed Mount Everest. I was ready to reclaim my body and sense of identity. I wanted to rediscover myself and be more than just “Everett & Finn’s mom.”<\/p>\r\n