Embracing My Beautiful New Body: The Transformative Journey of Swimsuit Shopping After Bariatric Surgery

Looking back on the day, I made the life-changing decision to undergo bariatric surgery, one of the things I excitedly added to my “Skinny Girl Bucket List” was swimsuit shopping.

For me, surgery was more than just a standard procedure, it was a leap of faith towards a healthier, happier me. I’m finding that with the more weight I lose, the more of myself I’m gaining back. My confidence, my joy, my sense of adventure, and most importantly, my life.

Now, as summer approaches, I find myself on a new and scary adventure—swimsuit shopping with a new body. One of my biggest goals this summer was not letting anything hold me back from actively participating in summer fun with my family. However, when I started swimming shopping, I felt like I was walking through landmines. Nothing felt quite right.

While I knew it was an opportunity to embrace my new body and celebrate the incredible changes I’ve made, it was also an opportunity for some of the less “pretty” side of my changes to show, aka my loose skin. I looked over Facebook posts and blogs about post-surgery swimsuit shopping and discovered the majority of the information was out-of-date or fell into one of these three categories:

• Here is a swimsuit that will cover you from ankle to elbow!
• Here is a swimsuit that will suck your tummy fat into looking like a size negative 3-Sorry about the elephant leg skin and bat wings though. Guess you’ll just need to use a coverup!
• Just embrace the loose skin- It’s better than fat!

To say this was frustrating would be an understatement. I finally found a swimsuit I loved at a thrift store, but by the time I needed to use it, my body was too small, and my loose skin issues were too big. I needed to find something I could feel confident yet secure in. Something that would help mask the areas on my body that I felt needed more work, but show off just how far I’ve come.

I decided to reach out to my friends at SwimZip for help. SwimZip is known for being an all-inclusive brand that celebrates diversity and bodies of all sizes. They have sent my boys countless swimsuits over the years and even sent me stuff. I never felt confident enough to rock their stuff prior, but this summer, I am feeling more confident and happy in my body than I have in years. The items they have sent me in the past are also actually fitting the correct way now!

SwimZip Haul

SwimZip sent me several options, and I absolutely loved the colors and being able to match my boys! They had a lot of options to help me cover two of the areas I’m struggling with most- my legs & upper arms.  My skin is currently the loosest in those areas, so I’m a lot more self-conscious about showing them off.

My favorite items from their line were the crop top rash guards- it hid my loose skin but showed up just how much more slim my waistline was!

I also really loved their adjustable skirts & bike shorts. The shorts even have pockets which is incredibly convenient!

My least favorite part of the haul were their tops. The patterns & colors were absolutely amazing, but for a woman who is as large-chested as myself, I find myself needing a bit more extra support & coverage. The first day I wore one of the bikini tops to the pool, my “girls” tried to slip out of the bottom- not exactly appropriate when one is at a pool full of small children! I’m hoping that as I keep shedding weight, my chest area also shrinks so that this is less of an issue though! The tankini tops were a bit better for minimizing potential “slip-ups,” but they still didn’t fit quite right. I guess this Goldilocks has a bit more work to do in that department!

The absolute best part of this experience wasn’t trying on and loving all of these new swimsuits, it was actually the unexpected shock of trying on something SwimZip sent to me in 2020, back when they were first expanding into the plus size world- a swim dress cover up. At the time, it fit more like a roomy shirt, but I loved the feel of the material, coverage, and spf protection, so I’ve happily been rocking it every year since it arrived. However, when I tried it on last month and it fit like it was supposed to fit, I about lost it with my shock and glee. I was so incredibly excited to have such a visual testament showing just how far I’ve come.

Post-Surgery Swimsuit Shopping Tips

Before diving into the world of swimsuit shopping, I took a moment to reflect on my journey. It wasn’t quite as cut and dry as I expected it to be. It was more than just trying to find a suit that would work for my body, but rather a tentative celebration about the progress I’ve made. The decision to undergo bariatric surgery was not an easy one, but it has been worth it every step of the way. I’ve faced challenges, celebrated victories, and discovered the strength within me. So, I decided to honor this journey and remind myself of the incredible transformation I’ve undergone. Swimsuit shopping became more than just finding the perfect swimwear—it became a celebration of my resilience and the person I’ve become. Given that, here are some of the things I’ve learned during this daunting experience.

1. Embrace Your Beautiful New Body

This is a chance to fully embrace your beautiful new body, adorned with confidence and self-acceptance. Shed the old layers of self-doubt and insecurity and, instead, wear the radiant glow of self-love. Every swimsuit you try on is an opportunity to appreciate the changes you’ve made and the progress you’ve achieved. You deserve to feel incredible in every single one, your new body is a testament to your strength and the limitless possibilities that await.

2. Discovering Your Perfect Fit

Finding the perfect swimsuit is like discovering a treasure that compliments your unique shape and style. This weight loss journey has changed my body in so many more ways than I even could have imagined. So, I tried to take the time to understand my new measurements and embrace the contours of my body. I didn’t even know what my size really was, so I measured my bust, waist, and hips. I allowed those measurements to guide me towards swimsuits that accentuated my newfound curves and helped me cover the areas I felt less secure with. However, it’s not just about the numbers—it’s about finding a swimsuit that makes you feel comfortable, confident, and utterly yourself.

3. Playful Exploration of Styles

Swimsuit shopping after bariatric surgery can be daunting, but it can also be a playful and adventurous experience. This is your opportunity to try on different cuts, experiment with vibrant colors, and explore designs that catch your eye. It’s a chance to express your unique personality and try things you may have never let yourself try before. Maybe you’ll fall in love with a high-waisted bikini that showcases those newfound curves, confidence, and grace. Or perhaps a flattering one-piece with ruching will make you feel like the epitome of elegance. This journey is about rediscovering yourself and having fun along the way.

4. Prioritizing Comfort and Support

While style is important, I always prioritize comfort and support when swimsuit shopping. I tend to look for swimsuits with built-in bras, adjustable straps, or underwire to provide the support I need. I consider my plans for the beach or pool—whether I’ll be diving into the waves or lounging under the sun. Choose swimsuits that offer both coverage and freedom of movement, ensuring that you can enjoy your time without any worries. When I feel comfortable and supported, my confidence shines even brighter.

5. Bring Your Hype Team

If the vast array of swimsuits feels overwhelming, remember that you don’t have to navigate this journey alone. Bring along your support team- the ones that will hype you up like no one else. They will cheer you nonstop and help make experience memorable and fun. Let them help you find the suits you never imagined trying on before. With their support, you’ll be sure to find that perfect swimsuit—one that hugs your body and soul!


Swimsuit shopping after bariatric surgery is a sentimental and personal adventure. It’s an opportunity to celebrate the remarkable journey you’ve been on and to embrace your beautiful new body. Take the time to appreciate how far you’ve come, the love and care you’ve shown yourself, and the joy that radiates from within. With each swimsuit you try on, remind yourself that this journey is about finding more than just swimwear—it’s about finding a piece of your soul that brings you closer to self-acceptance and fulfillment. Final words of advice? Dive into the world of swimsuit shopping with an open mind, a sense of adventure, and allow the beauty of your transformation to shine through. You are worth it!

The post Goldilocks & The 3 Bathing Suits appeared first on Not So SuperMom VS Society.

I’m overweight and I’m not unique-there are over 90 million Americans that are struggling with their weight as well. With millions of us in the same boat, you’d think this journey wouldn’t have felt so isolating, but it did. I felt like I wasn’t in the same boat, but rather, I was regulated to a dark and lonely hole-filled rowboat. A rowboat that needed to hide in the shadows so no one, not even myself, could see it as it slowly sunk to the bottom. I didn’t want to be seen, because being seen meant that I would have to acknowledge it, it being the elephant in the room, aka me.

I tentatively pull on a shirt that’s 5 sizes smaller than what I was wearing just minutes ago and it fits. I stare at myself in disbelief. It fits. It actually fits. I glance down at what I had been jokingly calling my “bag lady” clothes flummoxed. In my mind, those “bag lady” clothes still fit, they were just a little roomy and my mind can’t process that the shirt I pulled on somehow fits too. It almost feels like some weird “Sisterhood Of The Traveling Pants” moment, with the exception that it’s my body and not a pair of jeans.

Then the tears and feelings of unworthiness start. You see, when I had this moment, it was a mere 8 days after I had a mini gastric bypass procedure in Mexico. I had been prepared for rapid weight loss & potential emotional moments post-surgery, but I somehow had discounted and ignored the 65 pounds I had lost prior to going to Mexico. While I intrinsically knew my body was different, in my mind, I was still at my starting weight.

People were telling me how proud they were and that I was doing such a great job, but in reality I just felt like a big fat fraud. The first 30lbs or so that I lost? It wasn’t because I was “trying” to lose weight, I was actually suffering with an almost 4 month long covid side-effect that caused my throat to swell. It was harder and sometimes painful to eat, so I stopped eating as much. I didn’t stop eating & drinking the things that contributed towards my weight gain, I essentially was starving myself.  Eventually, my body got used to being starved, so when I finally started a specially tailored bariatric diet, my body didn’t mind. I lost those first 30ish pounds in such an unhealthy manner I felt I couldn’t take credit for them, and the transition to my new diet was so remarkably easy it didn’t feel like I was doing something worthy of praise either.

So how did I become this “elephant” in the room and why am I sharing now? My story starts over 20 years ago and I’m sharing now because I hope that maybe my story might help someone else who is also going through what I went through. It also doesn’t hurt that when I write my feelings down it also helps me process what I’m going through.

You’d be So Pretty If…

Almost all of my life I’ve felt haunted by the words “you’d be so pretty if…” followed by some sort of phrase that was designed to make me feel shame about the way I looked.  It may not have always been exactly “you’d be so pretty,” but the expressions were similar enough to be interchangeable. I’ve heard:

You’d be so pretty if you…

• Just lost some weight
• Tried a little harder
• Watched what you ate better
• Tried exercising
• Gave up soda.
• Joined weight watchers

And the list goes on. I’ve let these “observations” live in my head rent-free for years. Take, for example, an incident that happened over 15 years ago. I was on a trip with a couple of girlfriends, and the organizer also invited a few male friends to join us. One of those male friends made the comment, “You’d be so hot if you just lost some weight.” This was followed by my girlfriends agreeing with him: “You’re so pretty Crystal, but you’d be stunning if you just lost a couple of pounds.” At the time I was a curvy size 12.

Over the years, I learned to condition myself to pretend like those phrases didn’t bother me. I tried not to act like the stereotypical “fat girl.” The girl who always complained about her weight to prevent the eventual shaming that would follow, (i.e., “you did it to yourself,” “you just need to learn some self-control,” etc). Yet as the years went by, it seemed that nothing halted my slow descent towards morbid obesity. Yes, the personal trainers, gym memberships, weight-loss pills, and diets helped slow my descent, but they never seemed to halt it.

How It All Started

However, my story started prior to that trip. It started with family and the comments about what I ate and how I looked. The praise and compliments I received when I was thinner that slowly tapered off as I got larger. I’m not going to dive too deeply into my past here, however, there is one very big issue that started in my childhood that vastly contributed towards my weight gain: ADHD. One of the bad parts of not being diagnosed with ADHD as a child is that it led towards me developing two eating disorders: binge eating disorder and rumination syndrome. Studies have shown individuals with ADHD are 5 times more likely to have binge eating disorder due to issues with impulsive behavior/eating. Eventually, the binge eating disorder and anxiety led towards me developing rumination syndrome. Sadly, these eating disorders were something I wasn’t diagnosed with until the last couple of years and have taken significant time and work to deal with.

It wasn’t until college, and shortly thereafter that my weight started getting out of control more quickly. I had a few traumatic events that led towards massive depression and infertility issues, during which I started gaining weight more rapidly. Then I became pregnant (twice!), and between the pregnancy weight gain/bed rest/mom-life, the focus became my children, and it was easy to ignore that my weight was steadily increasing. I slowly let my life as a mom become all-consuming because it was easier being Everett & Finn’s mom and not “Crystal.” During this time period, I would get comments from my parents about how I was letting “myself go,” but it was easy to brush their concerns off and focus on my boys.

By 2019, I felt like there wasn’t anything I could do that would truly stop and reverse my weight-gain. I decided to try and pretend like it didn’t exist. I decided to preach body positivity, find clothes that looked cute in my size, and celebrate the “all bodies are beautiful” movement. In reality, though, I was just lying to myself and others. I didn’t let anyone know my secret shame- I hated my body. I learned to stop looking in mirrors and either not be in or hide behind people in photos. I stopped talking about all things involving my weight and instead worked on boosting others’ body confidence. All of my negative body thoughts and comments about my weight were shoved into a mental box and put way up high on a shelf my little t-rex arms couldn’t reach.

At the start of 2020, I had a friend who had gone through weight-loss surgery, (WLS), the previous year. I watched her transition carefully-she looked fabulous and felt amazing. Then, my parents offered me money towards a WLS procedure, and I decided that this was an option I needed to seriously consider. I was just about to commit to it when the Covid pandemic hit.

The pandemic hit all of us a little differently, but 2 of the most common side effects from being isolated, weight-gain & depression, also hit our household. I kept my secret body shame close to me though. I would have friends offer to walk with me, join weight watchers, etc, but I would politely brush them off, knowing if I committed to that with them I would have to face that secret body shame box I had “hidden” so well.

Facing My Secret Shame

Finally, in 2022, I made the choice that I was finally going to take the plunge and get my WLS done. To say the people around me were shocked would be an understatement. One friend even made the comment, “When you said you were going to have WLS, I was shocked. You never talk about your weight or have given any indication you were unhappy with it.”

That was kind of the point though. I didn’t want to talk about and acknowledge the fact that by summer 2022 I had reached my highest weight- a resounding 386 pounds. I was shopping for clothes that were 5x and occasionally 6x. My options for “cute” clothes were starting to get extremely limited. What all of my critics about getting this procedure done didn’t know is that this wasn’t some snap decision. They made comments about how dangerous it was and about my level of commitment to such a drastic procedure. They told me I was basically going to kill myself because I wanted some “hot body.” That I needed to spend my money on things like “Weight Watchers” and “personal trainers.”

What my critics didn’t do is ask me WHY I was doing what I was doing. They didn’t ask about what I had done to prepare, what my plans were for aftercare, etc. They just made assumptions. Those assumptions hurt more deeply than I’m willing to admit. As I said before, this wasn’t a snap decision. I had been planning this for years and had been doing significant research on my options. They didn’t understand this was something that I was doing for my family and, most importantly, myself. I wanted to be able to go on hikes with my family, play soccer with my boys, go on bike rides, heck even walk up my driveway without sounding like I had climbed Mount Everest. I was ready to reclaim my body and sense of identity. I wanted to rediscover myself and be more than just “Everett & Finn’s mom.”

Surgery Time!!

I originally wrote a very detailed section here that described not only how the experience was leading up to my surgery, but why I chose to do the things the way I did and what it was like. After writing it, it became apparent that it would be much better suited for a standalone blog. You can find it here: All Roads (Planes) Lead To Mexico .

The Box Falls Off The Shelf

I flew into San Diego for my surgery on January 18th and a driver, provided by the clinic I was working with picked us up to take us across the border. My surgery was early the next morning. I spent January 19th and 20th recovering in their medical suite. In the wee hours of the morning on the 21st, I was released and scheduled to fly home. My only regret? Not booking a room for an extra night. Those flights home were miserable!

Once I was back home, I spent the weekdays with my MIL, trying to keep moving and slowly testing the waters for what my body could/couldn’t handle. I wasn’t hungry per se, I just wanted the flavor and texture of food in my mouth. I didn’t want to actually swallow it though. I jokingly compared it to the scene in Madagascar where the Zebra serves the other animals saltwater drinks that are intended to be spit out.

While she was here, we also went into a local consignment store. They were having a killer sale, so I grabbed a few smaller sized clothing items for when I would be able to fit into them. Upon returning home, I tentatively tried on one shirt to see how much further I had to go before I’d fit into it.

My brain couldn’t wrap around the fact that this shirt that was 4 sizes smaller than what I had just taken off actually fit. I quickly pulled the clothes off, saying I needed to be in looser clothing to give my incisions some space. The next day I tried on a different shirt with a pair of pants that I hadn’t been able to fit into for almost 5 years. The jeans were so roomy that I could basically slide them off my body with a gentle tug. I also quickly took them off in favor of my “bag lady” clothes.

Fast forward to Saturday morning. I was alone in my house for the first time since I had surgery. Everyone else was at the airport, dropping my MIL off for her flight back home. On a whim, I pulled out a shirt I had received from a smaller sized friends wardrobe. It was a size 17 in juniors, so I knew there was no way my body would fit into it, yet somehow it did. Then I tried on something that was an extra large, and holy cow, it fit too.

I broke down sobbing, every emotion hitting me at once.

That box that I had shoved all of my negative body thoughts into? It had hit me resoundingly on top of my head. Those feelings of guilt, fraud, disbelief, etc., that I mentioned above crashed over me like a tidal wave. I called up a friend sobbing that I didn’t think I could get rid of my bag lady clothes, but if I didn’t, how would I be able to get new clothes that “fit”? I called up another friend who could hear the trembling breaths behind my words, and she quickly came over to listen to me as I sobbed.

Over the weekend, I spoke with several friends, including my mother, about the box hitting me on my head. The advice they gave and the listening to me as I processed my feelings was invaluable. However, I still had a major issue- myself.

Facing Myself

I realized that Monday morning, I had avoided looking at my body so long that I didn’t even know what I looked like anymore. I needed to see for myself. I needed to see what my new body looked like. I needed to see that my bag lady clothes truly didn’t fit. I needed to see my new clothes on my body.

On a last-minute whim, I contacted a friend who is also a photographer, aka Jami Tatum Photography. I knew that she would be able to handle my erratic emotional state and capture the images I needed with tact and gentleness. Despite being busy that morning, she quickly came to my rescue and readily understood what and why I needed to see myself.

I won’t lie- even though her photos of me were amazing, I still immediately honed into the things I disliked about my body. However, I expected that knee-jerk response. I knew these photos were my first step towards self-acceptance and love. I pulled up photos of myself from the previous year and compared them. Looking between them, I could finally start to understand and accept that I had lost weight prior to surgery. The elephant in the room was actually shrinking.

The Fat Shaming Epidemic

Our country has an obesity problem, but worst of all, it has an obesity shaming problem. Most of us “elephants” are aware of and know we are overweight; we don’t need someone to point out just how unhealthy we are. As a matter of fact, when you point it out, most of us end up gaining more weight and start developing more health issues. And I’m not just talking about friends and family, I’m talking about every single person that treats us like it is a personal failing, rather than a disease. None of us made the conscious decision to become this way.

This is especially true when it comes to our healthcare providers. Research has shown that on average, doctors not only spend less time with overweight patients, they also treat them with less sympathy, overlook potential non-weight related medical problems, and some even refuse to see overweight patients at all. Those that do see us, often don’t provide adequate solutions for how to lose the weight. There is a lack of actionable dieting advice and a lot of them just tend to shove pills our way. Some believe this tough love approach will shame us enough to fix the problem, but in reality, it pushes the majority of us away.

We stop going to the doctor and ignore easy to fix health problems until it’s a life-or-death emergency. As a matter of fact, this issue has gotten so bad, that those studies showing diseases like ovarian cancer are more lethal when you’re overweight have been skewed. Because a lot of overweight women put off going into the doctor for so long, their issues tend to have progressed to the point where treatment isn’t always going to fix the issue. And if you’re a minority it’s way worse. Don’t believe me? There is proven evidence that the fat shaming stigma is actually causing more issues than being fat.

The US Healthcare System is barbaric and ineffectual. It is failing millions of people and it feels like there is no solution in sight. I tried off and on for years to lose weight. It was a nightmare that left me with a host of body image and health issues. My healthcare providers completely missed that I had two eating disorders, prescribed pills that were unhealthy, and made me feel inadequate, not only in their office, but also in my own body. It didn’t make me any thinner or healthier, instead it led to me to feeling like a failure and gave me anxiety about returning for additional healthcare.

Skinny Girl Bucket List

It’s easy to build up resentment and anger over how many signs and flags were missed about my weight gain, but I have come to the conclusion that it’s not doing me any favors. I would rather focus on the steps I’m taking to take back my life, happiness, and body. There are so many things I let my weight interfere with and I am ready to put an end to sacrificing my joy. I jokingly created what I have deemed my “Skinny Girl Bucket List.” All of the silly things that I told myself I couldn’t do because I was too fat. Things like learning to scuba dive, goat yoga, rock climbing, and pole dancing lessons. Heck, I am even planning on going bikini shopping for the first time this summer. I am ready to live my life and celebrate the hard work that I have and will continue to put in.

Taking these steps are hard, but they are worth it. I am worth it.

The post You’d Be So Pretty If… appeared first on Not So SuperMom VS Society.

You may remember that I’ve started a long term photography project called #motherhoodintheraw. It’s all about learning to love your body again after having children.

Your postpartum body is as permanent a state as parenthood itself, and society as a whole, are conditioned to find reasons to not love it. My project is all about highlighting the beauty and changing the negative perspectives surrounding postpartum imagery.

The postpartum body is such an intense thing. You’re stuck in this place between what you used to look like and what you want to look like, neither of which will actually be achievable. You just grew a freaking human inside your body! Everything moved, shifted, stretched to accommodate these tiny beings. No one talks about how your stomach may be numb for years or how your ass literally deflates. I had two c-sections and have breastfed for five out of the past five-and-a-half years. Breastfeeding boobs are not to be confused with the large, perky ones you see on these breastfeeding celebrities in magazines. No, these are mounds of milk-filled flapjacks, and you can’t wear underwire to keep them up because it could cause a blocked milk duct.

Certainly pregnancy does create body changes. Those are things that should be appreciated and valued and not used as a weapon to limit our worthiness. Reframe your thoughts toward body appreciation when you notice criticism pop up. Or, how about acceptance? Even if you can’t find something you appreciate about your body, can you accept that it just is, releasing the judgment of good or bad? Let me be clear: Acceptance is not apathy. You are not giving up when you accept what is. You can still care about making important changes to your eating and exercise habits, how you cope with stress, or any other change that is important to you.

Resist the urge to compare your body to anyone else. It’s a human tendency to “compare and despair” as a way of assessing your self-worth. We can’t help that we do it, but we can control our response. Instead of body bashing yourself, just notice the comparison and give yourself a little mental hug, like you would your kids, letting them know you care. Say “It’s ok to be hurting about this, you are worthy and loved as you are.” This gentle response practically ensures that you will be in a better mindset to consider whatever self-care practices you can manage that moment: a drink of water, sleep, a balanced meal, a quick workout, a hot shower, or a good book.

A few things to remember and to tell yourself:

• All bodies are good bodies (yes all bodies).
• My body is worthy just for being born and for everything it’s done for me since then.
• I respect my body exactly as it is right now even if I wish it would change.
• I am fully committed to taking good care of my body as it is right now.
• My well-being matters to me more then weight, shape, appearance, and pants size. What do I need right now for my well-being?
• I will notice my negative thoughts and feelings, especially when I compare myself to others.
• I will treat myself with kindness – the way I hope my children will care for themselves when they are my age – even when it’s difficult.
• I have permission to have a bad body moment, day, or week without it being a judgment on how good I’m doing at body acceptance. I’m human.

Becoming a parent changes us, physically and mentally, forever. We will all do better when we embrace this new normal and reject unhelpful demands directed at our bodies. We deserve better.

The post Motherhood In The Raw appeared first on Not So SuperMom VS Society.